(The text of the problems posted to us are edited before being published here, for the sake of presentability.)
A message for counselling received by us from Canada on 22 July 2010
has been deleted from our mail-box. We request the sender to post it again.
Minu (26 yrs): Hello! I’m in love with a guy for three years now. We belong to
different castes. He is a Brahmin and I belong to a Khandayat family. For this reason his parents are not in favour of this
relationship. But my parents are fully agreeable. Now I am working as a software engineer and he is also in the same profession.
For the last one year we are staying together. The main problem is that whenever I suggest that we should go for a court marriage,
he simply avoids it. He always says that in future his parents will give their consent, and so there isn’t a need for
court marriage. Now my parents also proposed that they are prepared to hold a traditional marriage at my home, if he
wants. But he doesn’t agree to this saying that his parents will not come to such a marriage. So what should I
do now? Because I know that his parents will never agree; they are very strict regarding this. Should I have faith on what
he says and wait longer? And if I have to wait further, till what time? Please advise; because I am hopeless now.
Oriya Nari: First of all you have made a mistake
by going for a live-in relationship without considering its consequences. If you think it was a justified decision on your
part anticipating that it would eventually lead to a formal marriage, then we would say that you have not acted in a prudent
manner. If this was at all your expectation then at the very beginning itself you should have obtained a commitment from him that
he would ensure that the marriage takes place either in the court or a marriage mandap come what may, irrespective
of the stand taken by his parents. That you haven’t paid much thought to it at the initial stage of your relationship
shows your casual approach to a very crucial and vital aspect of life. The guy is also guilty on more counts. He knew pretty
well that his parents were against inter-caste marriage and if he was not confident of winning their consent then he should
have made the point clear to you from the day one itself. Now three years is not a short period of time. If within this
his parents didn’t change their mind then we think it is foolish for you to wait any further. You should ask the guy
to make another final attempt to convince his parents or else go for court marriage without wasting any more time. And if
it fails then you should also not waste any further time in coming out of the relationship.
(Posted on 18 July
2010)
*
Swati (27 yrs): I got
married in 2006. It was an arranged marriage. Both of us belong to Orissa, but after marriage we are staying in a city
outside Orissa. After my marriage I found my in-laws to be very egoistic. Although they love my son and me; they don’t
tolerate if I ever talk with my parents. They have no respect for my parents; so naturally no respect towards them also occurs
in my mind. But I take care of them, and love them. But respect doesn’t come. To narrate one incident, one day when
my father said to me politely in front of all that I should do a job then my father-in-law shouted at him and said: ”Who
are you to interfere in our life?” This hurt me a lot. I hold a post-graduate qualification in computer science and
had been a good student all along. I am also the only daughter of my parents. My husband supports and loves me. But he gets
scolding from my in-laws for this very reason. That’s why neither he nor I want to go to Orissa to visit my in-laws.
I can’t understand what to do. Would you please suggest something?
Oriya Nari:
Yes, it hurts a lot when one’s parents are not given due respect by one’s in-laws. But given the situation, it
is sensible to ignore such incident, since the more you ponder over it the more stressful might become your relationship with your
in-laws. The positive aspect of whole issue is that your husband supports and loves you. Since your in-laws stay away in Orissa,
it should matter little to them whether you take up employment or otherwise and if your husband is supportive enough to manage
the situation anyone else should be least bothered about it. So go ahead and take your own decision taking into account what
your husband thinks about it. You shouldn’t stop visiting your in-laws in Orissa just because their attitude annoys
you. Relations should be maintained and not cut off. The real strength in your relationship with them lies in that they love
you and you also love and take care of them (in your own words). So maintaining a formal relationship with them with occasional
visits to their place shouldn’t be difficult.
(Posted on 4
July 2010)
*
Sasmita (29 yrs): Currently I am in a problem invited by myself only. During my marriage,
my husband gifted me with one necklace and ear-ring set. Later on the occasion of my brother-in-law’s marriage my in-laws
expected us to give money for purchasing new gold ornaments for the bride. We would have, but around that time I underwent
a major surgery, for which we had to spend a lot of money. All savings gone! But the in-laws didn’t understand that
and my MIL asked for the necklace and ear-ring which my husband had presented, assuring that afterwards she would be
returning the ornaments to me. These ornaments of mine were gifted by her to the newly wed. But months later she asked me
to buy another necklace for my brother-in-law’s wife saying that then only she could take my ornaments back from her.
Till that time we had plans of actually doing it; but then my brother-in-law suffered pancreatic stone ailment. The cost of
his treatment was borne by my husband and me. Again all savings were gone. .....Now we don’t have money to spend
on others, as we are planning to expand our family and buy a house and vehicle. Please advise.
Oriya Nari: We seem
to disagree when you say: “I am in a problem invited by myself only.” Of course there is problem; but why do you
think that it’s your creation? Your have acted as per the demands of the situation and have done it in the best possible
manner. The ornaments gifted by your husband to you have been made best use of in saving a situation caused by financial hardship
(we presume) of your in-laws. You should feel proud that your necklace and ear-rings, instead lying idle in the ornaments-box,
were utilized to prevent embarrassment to a family. On the second occasion, God gave you a circumstance to prove that you
never hesitate to make financial sacrifices when it comes to saving the life of a close relation. On both the occasions you
have acted positively. There’s no reason why you should feel repentant. As regards the personal needs for your own family’s prosperity,
stop worrying; because things will take care of themselves. It is good to have ambitions but equally undesirable to remain
excessively attached to it. It is for the almighty to create ways for fulfillment of your dreams. Because with all the sacrifices
made, you highly deserve it.
(Posted on 28 June
2010)
*
Sneha (30 yrs): I find that there’s North Pole and South Pole of a difference
between the way I was brought up and my husband was. Consequently our parenting styles are also completely different. Our
kids are still young, being only 2 year and 5 year old girls. I feel they are more sensitive and need more caring/ nurturing.
To take the simple example of food – I prefer to feed them still, to prepare special things for them and make them sure
they eat well, come what may. On the other hand, my husband has an attitude of “if they’re hungry they’ll
eat” kind. To me nutrition is very important (especially home cooked food) – that is the basis of good health.
But my husband and MIL will pamper them with chocolates or else take them out to Mcdonald to get their love, so on and so
forth. I don’t understand how to explain to them that when kids eat chocolates – they don’t eat normal food
well and when they don’t eat well they become cranky. When they are left cranky often it becomes their habit and ultimately
their growth suffers. Any ideas?
Oriya Nari: It’s a question
of heart over the head. While the pampering by your husband and MIL are prompted by the call of their heart, the rational
approach adopted by you shows a reasonable application of mind. It’s a natural occurring in most of the households,
but not necessarily in the same order. More often it’s the mother who succumbs to the weakness of her filial affection causing
indulgent food habits of her children. In your case, since you are in favour of a rational approach to feeding with the
health of your kids on the top of your mind, the contrary approach of your husband an MIL does also have its own justification.
The kids must be enjoying the occasional pampering by their grandma and dad which provides them the fun and frolics of
childhood that’s an equally important element of the process of growing up. What’s however important is to maintain
a proper balance between these two approaches so that the over indulgence on the part of your husband and MIL in showing their
affection to the kids do not lead to an erratic food habit. Normally it would be unrealistic to expect MILs to change
their attitude in this regard, given their age. But you can certainly discuss the matter with your husband so as to make him
see reason. But never try to completely eradicate the pampering received by the kids because it is not desirable in the interest
of their ‘total’ growth.
*
Sasmita (28 yrs): Currently I am in a dilemma. My MIL and FIL treat me very well as I am
an engineer and earning a good amount, whereas they treat my SIL (the wife of my husband’s brother) differently. She
along with her husband stays with my MIL and FIL. She is not working. Her husband wanted to marry a non-working lady. His
dream has been fulfilled. Although my SIL is doing all the household chores by herself, my MIL is not happy with her. In last
vacation, when I went to my in-laws’ place, I gifted some money to her. Even this amount was taken away by my MIL. Now
would it be proper for me to tell anything to them?
Oriya Nari: We appreciate your
concern for bringing relief to the embittered life of your SIL. It’s a refreshing feeling; because such a chaste compassion
for one’s close relations is a rarity these days. It however causes a little unease when you say: ”My MIL
and FIL treat me very well as I am an engineer and earning a good amount.” If this remains the root cause of your being
treated well then it shouldn’t be treated as good treatment at all. Rather they are treating your money very well, not
you. Telling your MIL and FIL anything at this point wouldn’t solve the problem because it’s unreasonable
to expect them to change their mindset at this stage of their life by listening to whatever you have to say. You and
your SIL are being compared in monetary terms and this has become the basis of her ill treatment. In such a case you should
for a certain period stop contributing money to the family (even to your SIL, because it ultimately ends up in the hands
of your MIL). You have nothing to lose except earning a few bouts of their displeasure; but on the other hand the status of
your SIL in the family may improve in comparison over a period of time as your MIL /FIL begin to realize that there’s
no difference between a working and a non-working daughter-in-law. It calls for a certain degree of sacrifice from you; because
withstanding the displeasure of one’s MIL / FIL isn’t an easy task. It would be great if you could do it even
for a limited period.
*
Sailata (38 yrs): We got
married in 2001. Within six months of marriage I understood that my husband was a very egoistic person. He would never listen
to anybody. He is however a good man who takes care of everything. But when he gets angry he beats me. This type of violence
occurs twice or thrice in a year. But within one week or so we manage to solve the problem some way or the other. He is doing
business and I am a housewife. Last year his business was very bad, which I knew pretty well; so I used to adjust with the
situation. But recently his violence has increased manifold. As I heard from his family members, he is having that violent
nature since childhood. Now he is fighting for small things. Financial problem is there; but he is not telling anybody, nor
is he allowing me to go for a job. I love him very much. But I don’t know if he still loves me. I really want to save this marriage. For the past three months he is not talking with me. But he is talking
with the kids. I don’t know what the solution is. Please suggest something.
Oriya Nari: A similar problem was posted here earlier by another sister.
It pains us when we come across prospects of marriages breaking down due to domestic violence or misunderstanding. As a responsible
website it’s always our endeavour to suggest ways to save such marriages. Our policy is to advise positive measures,
rather than putting forth suggestions that could jeopardize matters further. In India we have 'the Protection of Women from
Domestic Violence Act, 2005' which one would normally be tempted to invoke in order to bring your errant husband to book.
But will it really solve the problem? A married woman’s ultimate fulfilment lies in marital bliss, not in the lack of
it. So let us try to safeguard it in whatever way we can. Please take note of how many positive observations you have made
in your very message: (1) He is a good man who takes care of everything. (2) Within one week or so we manage to solve the
problems. (3) I love him very much. (4) I really want to save the marriage. With so many positive elements, do you think
the marriage is not going to last? As you say, your husband nurtures a violent attitude since his childhood, which means that
it’s an innate and, most possibly, genetic problem which he may not be able to easily get rid of. So let us try
to ignore this part of his personality to the extent possible. As we understand, the negative behavior meted out to you by
your husband is but an expression of the frustrations arising out of his failure in business. If this difficulty
in the financial front is solved then the rigidity of his attitude would ease a bit. You could surely contribute towards
this by doing a job, so as to be able to augment your family income. If he is not agreeing, let it be your first priority
to convince him in this regard. Don’t think you can’t. If he has stopped talking with you; from your side don’t
stop talking to him, even if it becomes unilateral. Keep the doors open. Some day he will surely enter into the room of your
expectations.
*
Madhumita (55 yrs):
I am a housewife and my children are away in their work place. I am staying with my husband who has retired from
service. I have to take care of my ailing mother-in-law as well who is unable to walk. I hold an M.A dgree and have
a long experience in social service. I also write poems and other articles and participate in literary functions such as ‘Sahitya
Asara’ and ‘Kavi Sammelan’ Please tell me, how can I utilize my surplus time fruitfully and maintain contact
with equal minded friends?
Oriya Nari: The solution to your problem lies within the very message
posted by you. That you are actively engaged in social and literary activities is indeed an asset in life that one is
rarely blessed with. This could serve as the greatest pastime in your quest for keeping yourself preoccupied during your ‘surplus
time’. Unlike others in similar situations, you don't have to artificially cultivate an activity to keep yourself preoccupied in
order to keep boredom away. You also have the additional opportunity of deriving satisfaction out of serving your ailing
mother-in-law. Thus there are ample avenues to keep yourself busy so as to enable you to lead a happy and normal life at this
age. Maintaining contacts with equal minded people should also not be a problem as you are already in touch with social
and literary circles. So you should stop worrying. However you have reasons to be a little worried, if at all, in
case your husband doesn’t have any such specific interest to keep himself busy in his post-retirement days.
*
Deepali(42 yrs): I am a working
woman and have a happy family with my conservative husband and only daughter studying in college. My parents are staying with
my brother’s family in the same city. My sis-in-law is a housewife. My brother is a very open minded person. He gives
most of his time to help his wife when at home. Of course for cooking and cleaning servants are there. Still my sis-in-law
complains that she has to face lots of problems with my parents; so we should also keep them with us. In fact she is becoming
a psychological patient in fear of taking care of them forever in future when they will become invalid. Please suggest.
Oriya Nari: Deepali, we feel
that it’s your sis-in-law who is in need of counseling rather than you. She has immediately to undergo a change in attitude
and understanding. It seems that her problems emanate not from any of the present state of affairs, but from an imaginary apprehension
of the future. One finds no reason why she should feel over-burdened by work at present. Because as you say: (a) she is not
a working lady, (b) your brother also helps her in domestic work, and (c) there are servants to take care of cooking and cleaning.
It seems her only worry is, “How to take care of the parents-in-law if they become invalid in future due to their old
age?” Now it is the duty of your brother and you to reassure her that further support will always be available to her
in case of any such eventuality. (Of course possibilities are that such eventualities may not arise at all;
because many of the senior citizens become lucky enough to remain physically fit even at that age). She may be specifically
assured that additional domestic help or nursing care will be hired if the situation so demands. She might also be apprehensive
about not being able to leave her ailing parents-in-law back home alone if she wants to take an occasional break for
a short while and go somewhere. You should offer to take your parents home on such occasions. For the prospect of finding
a respite in case of need would heal the panic ridden psyche of your sis-in-law to a great extent.
*
Shimonti(38 yrs): I am approaching the
40s. My energy levels seem to have gone down and some pains in back/ neck have started. I have done a thorough health check-up
and nothing significant has come up. I think my body is slowing down as I approach the 40s. Can you give some advice on how
to prepare for the 40s? What type of changes occur in the body at this stage and what can be done to still continue having
high energy? What did women in the olden days do? Of course they had much more time to take care of themselves which we working
women don’t have. But what changes in food/ lifestyle should be done as one approaches the 40s?
Oriya Nari: It is necessary to get rid of a few myths that affect our confidence-level
in facing the physical as well as psychological challenges in life after 40. A common belief associated with menopause
is that hot flashes, memory loss and depression become an evitable part of life at this stage. Such problems are mostly temporary
in nature and more often than not these can be managed without medical intervention. You should go for a bone density check
to rule out hip fractures that are widely reported among women in this age-bracket. In order to reduce such a risk you
should increase the intakes of calcium and vitamin-D. We normally take for granted that weight gain and loss of strength
is a normal phenomenon which cannot be avoided at this age. But it should be understood that this occurs mainly due to
decreased physical activity and poor eating habits. Another thing to be careful about is that if a doctor recommends hysterectomy,
one should go for it only if it is felt absolutely necessary keeping in mind that it also carries certain indirect risks.
In order to maintain proper energy-level regular physical exercises (‘yogasana’s are more appropriate) and a balanced
food habit is quite essential. A physician should be consulted for medical advice regarding all these aspects. Yes, in the
old days women had enough time at their disposal to take care of themselves. But in addition to the shortage of time
the more acute problem for working women these days comes from the levels of stress that they have to undergo
in both - the professional and domestic fronts.
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get reduced by half. Keeping this in view we provide here a space to the women visitors of our
site to express their problems. The problems could be related to any field in their life - such
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will be provided for the problems posted to us.
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Please use the following form to post your messages for counselling.

The MlL Factor !
We knew that there was an MIL factor in all
married women’s life. But what we didn’t know was that it dominated their problems to such an extent. When
we started this Counselling page and offered a space to all women visiting our site to express their agonies,
we hoped that issues would be raised mostly on expected lines, such as financial problems at home, career options,
parenting problems, meeting situations in the job front, fine-tuning relationship with a husband and, of course, coping with
the mother-in-law (or the MIL factor, as we call it).
But little did we imagine that almost 80
% of the problems posted to us would pertain to the MIL factor only. This majority of issues presented to us for counseling
involved the role of an MIL, in some way or the other. It made us realize that taking care of this problem alone could bring
peace and harmony to many a woman’s life. Hence we thought of going for this write-up.
IT’S UNIVERSAL
Firstly, is this MIL v/s DIL (daughter-in-law)
‘game’ universal one? Most of us would agree that it is. It defies the boundaries
of countries, cultures and societies. Let us wipe from our mind for a moment that this is a problem peculiar only to
the Indian, or for that matter, Oriya women alone. The MIL-DIL complications exist everywhere. However its degree varies from
one society to the other.
This is not a development of the modern times
alone. It existed in all the ages. Old mythologies and history are replete with instances of MILs playing a crucial role in
shaping the fate of DILs. In some instances even the reversal of the roles has taken place. So what’s happening in the
modern times is not something new. What seems to be new, however, is its intensity. Today’s woman is more ambitious,
more informed, possesses higher levels of awareness, and has a greater understanding of her own rights and entitlements. This
has led to widening of the gap between the mindsets of the MIL and DIL.
What actually contributes to the problem?
The Freudian angle to it may not be ruled out. Once the daughter-in-law steps into the family, the MIL usually gets apprehensive
that the new entrant would grab all the attention and affection that her son so far bestowed on her. The sense of insecurity
in this front gets translated into a bizarre attitude in her behavior towards the daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law also
shares no lesser part of the responsibility in inflaming the problem. Like the MIL she also feels it difficult to accept her
husband’s attention being directed to his mother. All this happens at the unconscious level, there being no
explicit display of this in most of the cases. But it all gets manifested in a subtle manner in the interactions and behavior
between the two.
However it does not mean that all MILs and
DILs throughout the world are affected by this malady. There of course are some sweet exceptions where both of them complement
each other in an ideal manner leading to a peaceful life free from complications. But as we said, such cases are more
in the nature of exceptions.
Now, taken that the problem exists, how to
tackle it? Or how to live with it causing the least harm to the well being of the MIL-DIL-husband trio? The basic mantra
that we wish to suggest is, try to solve it; but if you fail, learn to live with it.
NO EASY SOLUTIONS
So let us first try to explore some ways
to solve the problem. In this regard the easiest thing that one is normally tempted to suggest is: “Understand each
other better, open up dialogue, and try to get closer to each other’s heart.” But this is easier said than done.
Such generalized suggestions hardly ever work.
We have always believed that the traditional
Indian values hold the keys to the solution to many a problem in familial life. In an orthodox set up, Indian daughters-in-law
are expected to be respectful and rather, submissive to their mothers-in-law. To be available at the service of the mother-in-law
when the need arises and obeying her instructions on a variety of matters is the norm. But if one advocates such a way of
life for the DIL, the women’s lib lobby and feminist folk would take up cudgels in protest. It simply is not acceptable;
even making a mention of this is considered sacrilegious.
So instead of risking this we intend to suggest
that being just respectful to one’s MIL and taking care of her sentiments doesn’t amount to sin. After all she
is an elderly lady, having seen more winters in life. She is also the one who has conceived and shaped the life of the DIL’s
other half (her husband). Such a Most Important Lady (MIL) surely deserves some reverence and recognition - the same
degree of reverence that the DIL would usually show to her own mother. In traditional Oriya homes the DIL is supposed
to address her MIL as bou or maa (the Oriya equivalent of mom).
A mother-daughter type of relationship is what one ideally aspires between the MIL and DIL. In some cases it becomes a reality;
but in most other cases, alas, it remains a distant dream.
“I treat her like I would do to my
mom. But does she consider me as her daughter in the true spirit?” is the complaint that most dedicated Indian DILs
would like to make. And it may be the other way round when it comes to the MIL’s version: “I always behave
with her as I would to my own daughter. But she hardly ever equates me with her own mother”. It appears that the mother-daughter
relation is the benchmark which if achieved would relieve the MIL-DIL duo of all stress and strain.
BEGIN WITH SACRIFICES
But in most cases it remains a distant dream.
At the cost of being branded partisan, we would suggest that either of two should make a beginning by choosing
to suffer silently instead of making protests and complaints or by offering ineffective resistances. Such a Gandhian
stance would prompt the other one to open up the gates of compassion and good will. Newton’s third law:”Every
action has an equal and opposite reaction,” might prompt the other one to reciprocate by showing the same degree of
tolerance and understanding in due course of time.
But why only one of them should take the
initiative? Oh! It would be great if both of them could show saintly traits at the same time and adopt the strategy of silent
suffering. But it can hardly ever be expected to happen. It’s a form of sacrifice that is to be initiated by only one
of them for the sake of bringing about peace and harmony in the family. Though this is not a ‘fashionable’
way of solution, it appears to be the only solution for the very reason that the alternative approach of “tit for tat”
would only bring further acrimony to the relationship.
We said that one of the duos should make
the sacrifice. Then who should it be? As we have hinted earlier, the MIL being an elderly and respectable lady should
be made the first beneficiary of such a sacrifice. The DIL has to be a little considerate in the matter. She should know that
the MIL has reached a stage in life where she cannot mould her way of thought or action as the situation demands.
Her age would simply not permit that. But the DIL’s would. So let her make the beginning. For, in the long run, she
is going to be ultimate beneficiary of it.
LIVE WITH IT !
If one fails to mend the problem then what
else is one left with but to live with it! We have always believed that MIL and DIL may learn to live life gracefully in spite
of differences lurking within them. The key to achieving this state of graceful existence is to firstly admit that this
peculiar problem is universal one and is going to stay.
Once you are reconciled to the situation
life is going to be easy, be you a MIL or a DIL. We think it might be a little difficult on the part of a daughter-in-law
to ignore the tantrums of her mother in-law completely and live a peaceful life. It might be difficult, but not impossible.
Similarly when a daughter-in-law in a traditional
Oriya home prefers to wear jeans on her way to the work place, the self-righteous mother-in-law would normaly frown upon
her. If she gets reconciled to the fact that times have changed and that her protests on this count are going to
further alienate her daughter-in-law from her, she could make a wise move to accept things as they are. It would bring peace
and harmony between the two.
It might be a Utopian dream to see the DIL and MIL maintaining a heavenly coexistence, but one could always
strive to make a move towards realization of the dream.
"QUOTES"
Love
is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
- Georg C. Lichtenberg
The
loneliest woman in the world is a woman without a close woman friend.
- George Santayana
Women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with the oppressors.
- Evelyn Cunningham
If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.
- Margaret Thatcher
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
- Robert Frost
Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not been able to answer... the great question
that has never been answered: what does a woman want?
- Sigmund Freud
A free race cannot be born of slave mothers.
-
Margaret Sanger
I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet, there would be no more wars.
- E.M.Forster
Why are women ... so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-Virginia Woolf
The great fault in women is
to desire to be like men.
- De Maistre
Woman's
dearest thing is to wound Man's self-conceit, though Man's dearest delight is to gratify her.
- George Bernard Shaw
Modern
paintings are like women. You will never enjoy them if you try to understand them.
- Harold Coffin
Even
the wisest men make fools of themselves about women, and even the most foolish women are wise about men.
- Theodor Reik
If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he married.
- Kirk Douglas
I am a source of satisfaction to him, a nurse, a piece
of furniture, a woman - nothing more.
- Sonya Tolstoy
If all men are born free, how is it that all women are born slaves?
- Mary Astell
A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table, than when his
wife talks Greek.
- Samuel Johnson
A woman has to use her influence with a man. She must mould him, make him into a better person,
or what's the point of a relationship?
- Ruth Pawar jhabvala
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
- Mae West
Women deprived of the company of men pine, men deprived of the company of women become stupid.
- Anton Chekhov
Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it takes a very clever
woman to manage a fool.
- Rudyard Kipling
The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that the chldren produce adults.
- Peter De Vries
Most marriages don't add two people together. They subtract one from the other.
- Ian Fleming
Marriage is the waste-paper basket of emotions.
- Sidney Webb
Marriage is a bribe to make a housekeeper think she's a householder.
- Thornton Wilder
I should like to know what is the proper function of a woman, if it is not to make reasons
for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out.
- George Eliot
A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony
in a moment.
- Jane Austen
A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.
- Frank Sinatra
Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.
- Oscar WildeMarriage: The state or condition of a community consisting
of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.
- Ambrose Bierce
A successful man is one who can make more money than his wife can spend. A successful
woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner
Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.
- Martin Luther
I want to die before my wife, and the reason is this: if it is true that when you die, your
soul goes up to judgment, I don't want my wife up there ahead of me to tell them things.
- Bill Cosby
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find,
and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
- Robert Anderson
Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters
in prose.
- Beverley Nichols

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